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      August 2, 2020Acing the Test: A SestinaJose A. Alcantara

      [audioplayer file=”https://admin.rattle.com/audio/AlcantaraAcing.mp3″]

      No one has ever done it before, no man
      has ever got all the questions right; no woman
      either. It’s hard to believe, but I saw it on TV.
      Amazing! That’s what the doctors say. A genius!
      I’m not making this up. They caught it on camera.
      In all of recorded history, he’s the first person
      to correctly identify an elephant. The first person!
      Goddamn! He’s smarter than that guy who led the Man
      hattan Project. And how good he looks on camera!
      Has there ever been a sexier man? If I was a woman,
      he could grab my genitals. Oh, to be groped by a genius.
      And to think, he spent so many years on TV
      being laughed at, made fun of. Did you know that TV
      is an acronym for “Terribly Virile”? Person
      ally, I can’t imagine a more stable genius.
      And I can’t understand why the fake news man
      gles everything he says. So what if he a paid a woman
      hush money? So what if the Russians hid a camera
      in his hotel room? When you gotta go, you gotta go, camera
      be damned. And don’t believe everything you see on TV.
      Except those test results. Thirty-five right! WOMAN.
      MAN.       CAMERA.       TV.       PERSON.
      Wow! I probably have the wrong order, but, man,
      that guy is fucking brilliant. I mean, I’m no genius
      but that doesn’t mean I don’t know a genius
      when I see one. I wish they had the part on camera
      where he counted backward by sevens. Man,
      that must be incredible. And in HD TV!
      100 – 93 – 86 – 79 What kind of person
      can even do that?! I once heard of a woman
      who could count backward by threes, but that woman
      ain’t nothing compared to this guy. He’s a genius’s genius.
      I’m so glad we have the greatest, smartest, best-ever person
      leading our country. It’s a damned lucky camera
      that gets to record such powerful and intelligent TV
      footage of this once-in-a-millenium Superman.
      He must be the first genius ever caught on camera
      showing a simple person like me, with only a TV,
      how to dazzle a woman, how to be a real man.
      Join us this morning for Poets Respond Live! Click here to watch …

      from Poets Respond

      José A. Alcántara

      “It’s almost too painful to contemplate the idiocy that currently occupies the Oval Office, but when I heard Agent Orange bragging of his ‘person, woman, man, camera, TV,’ I decided to add a word and write my first ever sestina.”