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      March 1, 2020After the Poetry Reading, We Go to Dinner and Try Not to Talk About Death,Julia Kolchinsky Dasbach

      over dessert, sharing
      bites—coronas, ‘crowns’
      of sugary-proteins—
       
      with near strangers.
      All of us
      careful
       
      to use share-plates
      and dip our spoons in
      just the once.
       
      I confess
      I’ve just had
      the flu, confess
       
      my ear is still clogged
      from the flight. I hear
      popcorn popping
       
      when I swallow.
      The nurse warned
      of fluid, warned
       
      it could hurt
      to leave
      the ground or come
       
      back down. The virus can live
      on your clothes
      for up to three hours.
       
      How to hug
      my children now
      when I come home?
       
      Can I exchange
      this body
      for another
       
      cleaner, less
      human mess?
      Should I burn
       
      my clothes? Toss them out
      or right into the wash
      on high or hot or sanitize,
       
      whatever we think kills
      what we bring home.
      How do we tell
       
      what is enough? Do
      enough? I envy the woman
      wearing a peach mask
       
      and breathing
      only her own, stale carbon.
      Four cities. Four airports.
       
      How many hands
      have touched
      the things I touch?
       
      How many
      points of overlap
      between us? All
       
      our dirty movements?
      Each touch—
      unaccountable
       
      risk.
      Boarding pass. Baggage
      tag. The handle
       
      of my suitcase. Armrests
      and tray tables. An elbow.
      The half-washed
       
      bar glass, too weak to kill
      what it could carry.
      How many chance
       
      infections? How
      flammable we are.
      As easy to move through
       
      as clouds. And just
      as transient,
      as likely
       
      to spill open.

      from Poets Respond

      Julia Kolchinsky Dasbach

      “I can’t stop washing my hands and thinking about the spread of viral infection as I, like so many other writers, prepare to travel to San Antonio for AWP. I am not worried for myself, but for what I could bring home to my family. Wishing everyone safe travels and hoping that the compulsive hand washing is going to be the next pandemic.”