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      April 13, 2024Considering the TrebonitesDick Allen

      The world grew stranger … he had almost lost the feeling of
      being on a strange planet; here it returned upon him with
      desolating force. It was no longer ‘the world,’ scarcely even ‘a
      world’: it was a planet, a star, a waste place in the universe,
      millions of miles from the world of men …”
      —C.S. Lewis

      When we interviewed them, we found they had no insurance
      and believed in great acts of page turning.
      “The heavens are filled with dead end runs,” they said,
      “angel-headed hipsters, old washing machines.
      Sometimes you can see the outline of a woman’s elbow
      and sometimes you can’t.” They greeted our arrival
      with bemused tolerance. “Box Watchers,” they called us,
      and “People Who Hold Metal to Their Ears,”
      “Roller Coasters” and “Replacement Parts”
      and “Crazy Mothers.” In their dimension
      four hundred plus five hundred equals one gold tooth,
      the moon is shaped like a half-eaten tuna fish sandwich.
      “What is so funny as a tuna fish sandwich?”
      is one of their sayings. Also,
      “Rain always falls on the feet of goats”
      and “Once in danger, always in danger” and
      “Too many poems can spoil a mountain picnic.”
      It was observed by C.S. Lewis
      that one of humanity’s main problems is its lack
      of other sentient beings to bounce off of,
      thus we fail to have a much needed sense of perspective
      and that’s why we sometimes call our children
      “little monsters” and our wives “cows” or “shrews”
      and our husbands “pigs” or “brutes” or “Dagwoods.”
      … They procreated, we found out, only in public places
      such as football stadiums and shopping malls and historical mansions
      and always in broad daylight, watched by thousands
      whenever possible. Food was their secret thing,
      always to be eaten in silence and solitude
      and never with neckties.
      Also, they forever turned their backs on each other
      whenever they drank, during which time they rolled their eyes
      and twitched their eyebrows. What they found beautiful
      were exceptions to rules, undersides of bridges,
      all kinds of clattering sounds, and most especially
      paintings of fire escapes. Hundreds of articles have been published
      about the symbolism of fire escapes, their vine-like clingings,
      their amounts of rust, how they looked in sunlight
      or shadow, whether they should be lined with flower pots or not
      and huge books about fire escapes also, amply illustrated.
      One evening
      we asked them if it was true their lives were governed
      only by signs and they told us it was so. A tree branch falling
      meant you should go home and speak with your cat.
      An itch in the right shoulder blade
      indicated you should not trust your best friend
      further than the nearest gravy boat. If you came upon
      three descended fire escapes in one day
      you should hide under a water tower, but if it was five
      plus a cracked window,
      tomorrow would be filled with endives,
      trestles and historical mansions … We left them
      by their side of the portal, their small fingers
      still holding it open for a while
      and when we went back home to our boxes and our wheels,
      our cell phones and our wild variety
      of clothes beneath our clothes, our darknesses
      and gods and landscapes stretching out to rain-swept horizons,
      taking with us a bottle of the Trebonites’ fantastic rum
      from their Valley of the Stinking Life,
      that lies just beyond Hey, There
      (those wonderful translated names similar to those of our racehorses),
      carrying with us a few bite marks, some images of bridges,
      and several regrets, but none we could not shake.

      from #30 - Winter 2008

      Dick Allen

      “The Chronicles of Narnia movie led me to Lewis’s The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, which led me back to his SF novel, Out of the Silent Planet, which deranged my mind enough for the Trebonites. As is often noted, all SF descriptions of alien culture are really commentaries on Earth life.”