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      January 21, 2018Girlfriend of Las Vegas Gunman Says Her Fingerprints Would Likely Be on AmmoFrancesca Bell

      When it was hard for him
      to sleep
      she matched her breath to his
      then waited
      while they arced together
      into night’s grave,
      consciousness like a shot
      pulled beneath
      the line of its trajectory
      by the force
      no one can see. Those stale
      Sundays they ended
      up at the range with a bag
      of guns
      lugged in heavy from the car.
      The open air
      always did them good, and there
      was something
      intimate in seeing him
      take aim.
      He always bested everyone,
      tore up the place.
      After, she did her small part
      while they watched
      news of other people’s
      cataclysms.
      Ammunition wedged warm
      between them
      on the couch, they loaded
      the magazines.
      Each elegant bullet
      was powerless
      without its weapon.
      Like a woman
      with no man to see her.
      Sometimes,
      she wants him back.
      He touched her
      the way she touched
      those bodies.
      Her fingerprints
      entering them
      on every round,
      his love
      lodged inside her
      like a ghost.

      from Poets Respond

      Francesca Bell

      “I wrote this poem in response to news reports this past week about Marilou Danley’s fingerprints being on the ammunition used by Stephen Paddock in the Las Vegas massacre. I feel great empathy for Ms. Danley. When I was young, I had serious relationships with two different gun enthusiasts. These men owned many different guns—including assault rifles—and one I shared a home with for three years. I spent many Sunday afternoons at one gun range or another back then, and I handled all kinds of ammunition and firearms. One boyfriend was a police officer and the other an avid hunter, so the possibility existed that my fingerprints might have been found on a bullet that had ended a life. Additionally, I’ve personally known four individuals who have killed someone. Three of the killings were sanctioned by the state, and one ended in a prison sentence. Though I was appalled and astonished by the enormity of what each man had done, my emotional attachment to them remained. I did not stop loving them. I imagine Marilou Danley still loves Stephen Paddock. I imagine she misses him, despite everything. And I imagine she is haunted to think of where her fingers’ prints have been, of what suffering was inflicted there.”

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