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      November 17, 2024Hello, I Am Not a SoldierAbby E. Murray

      And yet I wear caution like a uniform
      now, pulling myself into its rough sleeves
       
      and old boots each morning
      before I even think of coffee or how
       
      the me who returns to this bed will not be
      the me who left it. There is no flag,
       
      mark, pattern or pin I can carry to convince
      a person of what I will or will not do,
       
      who I love or what I care about.
      If I am kind, I must prove it by risking
       
      kindness. I ration false comfort by knowing
      it has never not been this way:
       
      each day armed with infinite opportunities
      to fail, and the chance of failure’s alternative
       
      always racked like an ordinary bullet
      within tens of thousands of identical seconds.
       
      Wherever I go, I cling to my hope
      like a weapon I have been trained to love.

      from Poets Respond

      Abby E. Murray

      “As the next administration unveiled its picks for senior leadership and cabinet positions this week, I was especially struck by the terrible choice for a defense secretary: a man who has a history of demonizing any life that doesn’t closely mirror his own. Most of my daily work involves examining and bridging the canyons that divide military & civilian populations, and I am imagining how much harder it’s going to be next year. I wrote this poem as a way to connect my pacifist life to the lives of service members in danger. Happy veterans day indeed.”