September 14, 2024Life Lessons from an Anxious Cheerleader
1. If a flyer hits the ground, we do fifty burpees.
Yes, the entire team.
Today, I was that flyer. They threw me
Into the air. They were supposed to
Catch me in a cradle, but it was the track
That caught me instead—hard, ice cold
As it met my shoulder and my cheek.
I grazed my elbow; for three days, my shoulder hurt.
“I’m ok,” I said.
One, we chant. Two, three …
My vision ping-pongs between the bleachers and
Twenty-five …
The peeling white line on the track.
Fifty.
2. Do not forget bug spray.
Mosquitoes will swarm your legs.
They will itch like crazy.
3. You always know when the coaches talk about you,
But you never know what they’re saying. You will
Stand there, wondering if they know
You can hear them. Cycling through
Every possible scenario, you hope
What they’re saying is good. It is
Probably not, but they refuse to say it to your face.
4. The dance team will talk shit about you
Behind your back. Don’t let them
Get away with it. You’ll catch the captain
Call you JV in front of all her friends, because
A sport with the highest rate of injury
For female athletes obviously doesn’t count
As varsity.
Pro tip: If this upsets you like it upsets me,
Imagine them messing up their halftime routine.
Spoiler alert: they messed up their halftime routine.
5. When doing cheer jumping jacks, always
Hit a high “V” and slap your thighs
On the way down. (I know it sounds weird.)
This will annoy the dance captain
And she’ll say, “That’s disgusting.”
Maybe it is. So slap your thighs
As loud as possible.
6. A high ponytail means right on top of your head.
Your hair follicles should feel yanked out
Of your skull, and if you’re debating
The prospects of early-onset alopecia,
You did your hair right.
7. Pain is pain no matter where you feel it.
But some kinds are worse than others.
My toes still cramp every time
They boost me into an extension—
6 and a half feet in the air. But the feeling of
Falling out of my teammate’s hands—
That’s worse.
8. You’ll doubt whether you’re even cut out
To be a flyer. The coach compares me
To Ellie Liou. In front of everyone, she tells me
To do it more like Emma Cohen.
“Try pushing your shoulders back more.”
“Make sure to lock out.”
I know they just want to help, but it’s hard
To accept that you are the one
Bringing everyone down.
9. Do. Not. Be. Late.
Do you want to run for twelve minutes?
10. Everyone can see you.
Hands stained red from the pale track, I hold them
Up to the setting sun, as if they block out
The light that tricks and deceives. I’ll start
Hyperventilating before each stunt—I cannot
Hide when I touch the sky—what is worse?
Knowing how to disappear or never being seen at all?
11. No matter how difficult cheer is,
Your teammates have your back. Literally.
from 2024 RYPA