February 12, 2019

Nidhi Zak / Aria Eipe

MONSTERS

for Victor Valdovinos

Monsters cannot be announced. One cannot say: ‘Here are our monsters,’ without immediately turning the monsters into pets.
—Jacques Derrida

There’s a monster in the closet
a monster ’neath the bed
a monster in the torchglow
  messing with my head

There’s a monster in the lights!out!
a monster in the night
a monster through the keyhole
  numbing me with fright

There’s a monster in my comic book
a monster at the store
a monster like a shadowman
  lurking by the door

There’s a monster in the kitchen
a monster on the stair
a monster here in bed with me
  clutching at my hair

There’s a monster in the crowds
a monster when alone
a monster with his lechery
  breathing down the phone

There’s a monster in the locker room
a monster, too, at school
a monster has his eyes on me
  swimming in the pool

There’s a monster in the driver’s seat
a monster giving wood
a monster pushing into me
  straddling the hood

There’s a monster at the movies
a monster in the loo
a monster with a wagging dick
  waiting there for you

There’s a monster in the future
a monster in my past
a monster in the present, there—
  I’ve said it now, at last

from Poets Respond
February 12, 2019

__________

Nidhi Zak / Aria Eipe: “In its March 2019, The Atlantic published ‘Nobody’s Going to Believe You,’ an article detailing the outcome of a year-long investigation into allegations of sexual misconduct against Hollywood director Bryan Singer. Journalists Alex French and Maximillian Potter interviewed over 50 sources—men claiming that ‘they were seduced by the director while underage; others say they were raped. The victims [….] told us these experiences left them psychologically damaged, with substance-abuse problems, depression, and PTSD.’ One of these men, Victor Valdovinos gives a detailed account of his experience of sexual abuse by Singer, and its aftermath. Valdovinos was thirteen years old, in seventh grade, at the time it occurred—he hadn’t even had hist first kiss yet. Over the years, he started to question ‘how his life might have gone differently if not for that locker-room encounter with Singer. ‘What if he never did this to me—would I be a different person? Would I be more successful? Would I be married?’ As he watched the Harvey Weinstein scandal unfold, Valdovinos thought, ‘Me too—only I was a kid.’ He considered going to Singer’s house and knocking on the door and asking him, Why? He thought about going public. But who would believe him? This is for Victor. Because I believe.” (web)

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December 30, 2018

Rimas Uzgiris

THE ANCIENTS AND US

Thinking about post-truth today, Socrates
came to my mind, barefoot, of course,

not like a beggar, still eyed with the arrogance
barely cut by faux humility, by that ignorance

he made famous in his take-downs
of other men until they told him to split town

and he refused. What was he to do?
With no smartly Athens he was through.

Now with Trump in front we have our Gorgias,
just more dumb, with the demeanor of an ass.

Socratic dialogue can’t find the smallest ledge
to stand on, and speech itself has lost its edge

when everything said is like a thick, blunt club
to beat the heads of those who haven’t joined the club.

Some sibilant sibyllic virus has infected language use,
and nothing much we say these days still rhymes with muse.

Take my toddler recently who gazed at Christmas lights
and with ingenuous wonder declared, “Those lights are nice!”

He pronounced that final word now how I cannot:
no hyperbole, no irony, nothing of what is not.

Parmenides held that what is not is nothing at all,
and so our agéd tongues do skitter, slide over falls

to float dead in a pool with oil, plastic and refuse—
dead bodies decorated with lights, poisoned, no use

for us to help enunciate the unseen sight of what persists,
or touch the realm (corrupted kingdom!) of what really exists,

and as I couple these last lines, I wonder whether they have pith
or merely slide into the self-propelled simulacra of present myth.

from Poets Respond
December 30, 2018

__________

Rimas Uzgiris: “My poem was written after reading an academic article about Socrates that got me thinking about our “post-truth” moment, Trump’s tweets and Ancient Greek rhetoricians, and then when Christmas made an appearance as well, I thought, yes, Rattle, yes.” (web)

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July 6, 2018

Julie Price Pinkerton

ON THE PIER WHERE THE SIGN READS “NO INTENTIONAL SHARK CATCHING”

“Sharks 3 feet or under must be hand-lined and immediately released.
Sharks over 3 feet must immediately be released by cutting the line.”

No bullshit, you people.
Break the rules and get a fine of 500 bucks and 30 days in jail.

Here we are, all of us tourists, waiting for a table
at the pier restaurant, hanging around in lazy shorts
and sunburns and lumpy tote bags.
We can smell the end of our vacations in the briny air.
We dread going back to our boring lives of—

“They’ve got one!” someone shouts.
Two guys in their twenties are pulling it up
hand over hand, excitement pulsing from them
like mist from a Whole Foods vegetable sprayer.
Dozens of us go on red alert, rushing to the fray.
The little shark, a two-footer, whips its body—
a gray-white nothing-but-muscle missile—
back and forth with such formidable force

that the two captors strain all four biceps
to hold on hold on hold on jesus hold on
and try to work the awful hook from its mouth.
They jiggle it, twist it, tug it backward through
the wound they’ve caused. Pull pull pull pull.
They’re frantic but poised, like NICU docs
aching to get a preemie to breathe.

They hurry to their tackle box, flip it open,
grab some pliers, and sure enough,
we rubberneckers are right there with them,
moving from one side of the pier to the other
like Charlie Brown’s gang shuffling over
to decorate the dejected evergreen
with Snoopy’s store-bought sparkles.

We have become a conjoined blob, shapeless,
and also shameless, every last one of us.
I feel, all of a sudden, like an asshole.
I try to find a kindred spirit.
“Look at us,” I say. “We’re shark paparazzi.”
No one looks at me. No one laughs.
Gotta hold the cell phones steady
to capture this shark ourselves,
our own catch of the day.
It thwacks and snaps as though
the end of the entire angry galaxy
has been poured like gunpowder
into this enraged tube of fishbody.
It longs to unleash its sea-fury
on these two hook-wielding fuckers
and on all the paparazzi fuckers
who are saying things like
“Look at ’im fight!” and “Isn’t it weird
how it looks like he’s smiling?”

Yes. Smiling. Not the grimace of a child
pushed into a family’s holiday photo.
More like the grin of Beelzebub
or a parade queen runner-up,
picturing jolly retribution to come.

The hook will not budge.
The shark needs water.
They cut the line and toss it over
the side of the pier to the audience
below the surface: eels and horseshoe crabs,
miles of kelp, sand dollars piled up like poker chips.

The show is over. We’ll go eat dinner now,
scroll through our photos between bites
of today’s special, crab cakes, and maybe
order dessert before walking back to our
rented condo to pack our bags.
Tomorrow we’ll gas up the car
and head for home to face the smothering
list of things we came here to forget,
like the fact that we couldn’t really afford any
kind of vacation but our desperation won out.

I start to forgive the group of gawkers,
me included, for the bright burdens we carry
around our necks like neon pool noodles,
and for the great humiliating need
we sometimes have to see
a creature struggling
that isn’t us.

from Rattle #59, Spring 2018

__________

Julie Price Pinkerton: “Traveling has always felt strange to me. When I was seven, my dad took our family on vacation to Washington, D.C., so we kids could learn more about the country he loved. He took us to meet our congressman, John Myers, and filled our week-long itinerary to the brim. Amid stunning monuments and museums, the thing I found most fascinating (aside from there being some new, otherworldly food in our hotel called honeydew) was that we encountered a taxi driver who smoked a cigar. I had never seen a cigar before. Five decades later, the small, unexpected parts of any trip are still like catnip to me. While at the beach last May with my husband, Scott, the shark scene in this poem unfolded in front of us. It’s a perfect example of what I’m drawn to most: numerous little chunks of strangeness pulling together like a pile of paper clips snapping onto a magnet. I could relate to every part of it. I was the crowd of nosy bystanders, the duo of fishermen, and the small creature minding its own business when it suddenly lands inside a snow globe of agony, looking for someone to rescue it.” (web)

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April 18, 2018

Rayon Lennon

HEARD

I am still
Alive so
I move out
Of my doc’s
Cave-like office
And let the sun
Sip tears
From my
Pooling eyes.
I learned
I am
Dying
But all this
Psychic
Pain is nothing
If death will
Erase it.
I am still
Alive so I
Buy Jamaican
Food at
A Jamaican
Restaurant
And savor
The muddy
Sauce
Of the brown
Stew while
Ogling
The sunny
Jamaican
Cashier who
Looks me
Dead in
The eye
And tells
Me love
Is not dead
But on life
Support.
I say
I learned
I am dying
And she laughs
And says good
One. I laugh
Too to keep
The unknown
At bay. Cuddled
Dogs whine
Like babies
To me. I will
Never have babies.
I let that sink
Deep and forget
It. Though
I can’t.
I’m still alive
As I move by
A park teeming
With laughing
Children. The sun
Finds comfort
In a crib of trees.
And suddenly fall
Shines with greater
Focus, wind-carried
Orphaned leaves
Serenade streets.
I like to think
I’m dreaming
But the horn
From a sick car
Brings up
Reality. A young
Woman of about
20 models by.
She doesn’t even
Acknowledge me
And I imagine
That’s how death
Is—a gorgeous
Woman oozing
By without seeing
Me. She’s decked
In super tight
Whitish yoga pants.
Her ass bouncing
Like a basket-
Ball, her hair knocking
On her ass like
A good dribbler. I get
Hard and it makes
Me sad to think
I haven’t made
Love to enough
Angel-faced women
And now I’m on
The edge of leaving
Earth. I may
Attend a brothel,
I chuckle, that’s heaven.
I suddenly believe
In Heaven, a place
Of no worries, but not
Hell, a cruel
Fairytale.
I am still
Alive so I
Hoop it up
With some
Kids. My jump-
Shot is still
Alive and I rain
Threes. The kids
Tackle me
But I cannot
Be stopped
Like death.
At home,
An ancient
Apartment on
Edgewood Ave.,
I make love
To myself
Imagining
Coming
Like leaving this
Pretty awful
World.
Someone once
Said death
Is the ultimate
Orgasm. I am still
Alive so I shower
Slowly, allowing
The massaging
Water to cure
My worries.
I am still alive
So I enter
My wound-red
Sentra to go see
My father, the sky
Is a new version
Of blue. I am
Still alive so
I note how Father
Creaks with a cane
From an accident
With a crane
At work several
Years ago.
Blind in one
Eye, one and a half
Legs, cracked
Ribs. Are you
Okay? I say.
He says, I am
Dying. We are all
Dying. Even
The newborn is
Marching towards
Death. I say,
Who have you
Been reading, Dad?
He laughs. Wind
Nods the trees. He says
He recently
Flew to Jamaica
Where he built
A house overlooking
A sea-big
Woodland. I tell
Him I love him
Even though I know
He’s a womanizer,
Who left me
In Jamaica when
I was born
To marry America.
He once owned two
Wives at once, Mom
In Jamaica, and a cold
Woman in Connecticut.
Plus a woman in
Every parish.
But he’s never felt
Connected because he is
The unwanted
Product of an affair
Between his aunt’s
Hubby and his
Mom. So the father
So the son.
Dad once
Told me life
Is really freaking
Short and the only
Place to find joy
Is in a woman’s smile.
Heaven is a beautiful
Gal, he had said.
Go find you some.
He doesn’t know
What to say. So
I tell him
I love him again,
And he says
Your face
Has always told
Me something
Different.
Not now, I say.
I really love
You, Dad.
What’s wrong?
He says. Nothing,
I say. I say, Thank
You for bringing
Me to America,
A place like
Heaven if you
Want it to be.
I am still alive
So I fly
To Canada
To see
My mom, who
Is anger fighting
Godliness.
She greets
Me at the airport
Dressed in a sunny
Dark green dress. How
Is Trump’s
America? she
Wants to know.
I say, He doesn’t
Take office
Until 2017, Mom.
Her face softens.
I don’t call
Her Mom often.
Son, she says.
I’ve missed
You. Come stay
In Canada for good.
Trees scroll by
Like crumbled
Paper. Her barber
Husband is driving.
His night vision
Is poor, and he nurses
The car along.
I say, I don’t know
About living in Canada.
I have to see
How bad things
Get in the U.S., Ma.
The moon dangles
Like a dying bulb
Over clusters of houses
Followed by wide
Open spaces. I see
More houses than people
In Canada, it seems.
The streets are cleaner
Than a germaphobe’s
Place. But it’s wickedly cold,
Like the air has teeth
That nibbles at your senses.
And there is a silence
Everywhere like light
That never goes out. Mom’s
Condo sits like a nest
Of bricks on a mountain
That looks like the back
Of a dinosaur. I am
Still alive so I head
Out with my step-
Father’s 23-year-old
Son, Rick, who
Is so beautiful
Women look away
When he glides by,
Less they get sucked
Into wanting him. The women
Who look at him
Slither up and beg
Him for directions
And tell him they like
His moon-bright shoes.
He looks like a brown
Brad Pitt. It’s sickening
To think my life has been
This hell because I’m
Not beautiful. As we head
Downtown women throw
Themselves at Rick and all
He does is grin and jerk
His head back to look at
Me to make sure I’m catching
It all. It’s confusing.
I thought women played
Tight to get into. In the mirror
Of the cloud-touching glass
Building I see that my teeth
Are buck and yellow
And that my mother never
Took the time to fetch
Me braces the way she
Never got me glasses
But got glasses for herself.
I could stand to lose
20 pounds. My head is
As round as a deflating
Basketball. The black
People in Canada look
Like they carry a lighter
Weight of racism. The cops
Don’t seem to want to shoot
Everyone. The clean air
Clears my senses. The black
Men stroll with grateful
White women. The black
Women are so gorgeous
They appear like flowers
Somehow sprouting
In the deadly cold.
Rick’s beauty lights
The streets. Pale groups
Of women stop him
To ask him if he’s a movie
Star. I’m still alive so I get
Jealous and tell him
I’ll see him whenever later.
He says, No problem
Mon, in his poor
Jamaican accent.
When I get back
To the condo I see
That Mom has this after-
Cried face, and I ask
Her what’s wrong?
And she says she has
Missed out on my life.
Her face is as soft
As a swamp from bleaching
Creams. She is short
Like a middle schooler
With an unending supply
Of sarcasm and stories
Dug up from our past
Countryside lives
In Jamaica. I tell her
I love her and her face
Hardens into puzzlement.
She locks her
Eyes, and I think
She has been waiting
For me to say that ever
Since I was thirteen
And she left me
For good in Jamaica
So she could
Reunite with her
Deadbeat preacher father
Here in Canada. She unlocks
Her eyes with a smile
As dark comes
On like a comforter.

from Rattle #58, Winter 2017
Rattle Poetry Prize Winner

[download audio]

__________

Rayon Lennon: “I moonlight as a clinical therapist and in one session last fall I asked a client to write a forgiveness letter to himself; and in another session, I asked the same client to write a forgiveness letter to someone who has hurt him. I wrote my own forgiveness letters as well, which gave birth to this poem. I should also mention that I am a Barrel Child. The phrase ‘Barrel Children’ refers to, in particular, Jamaican children whose parents—compelled by social and economic challenges—choose to leave their children behind in Jamaica to pursue economic opportunities in other countries such as Canada, England, and the United States of America. These parents then send back barrels full of food and clothes and other items to their children. A good many of the children left behind face physiological and psychological challenges. I have devoted my life to correcting this problem. It’s easy to say too that this lightly fictionalized poem was informed by the shock of watching Trump win the election last November and our ensuing crush on Canada. Or that this poem is a meditation on mortality, in general. In some ways, it’s an elegy for the life I could have lived. It’s a letter and a prayer to a God I tend to disappoint but who continues to fill my life with otherworldly blessings; a forgiveness letter to my parents too, who I love dearly, though—for complicated reasons—I don’t believe I’ve ever told them I love them (except in poems). They have done the best they could for me and for that I’m forever grateful. It’s a love letter to New Haven, Connecticut; Hamilton, Canada; and all of Jamaica. And finally, a thank-you letter to and an elegy for Derek Walcott, the towering, Nobel-winning, Caribbean poet and my literary father (though I’ve never met him) who left this world last spring and whose life was, like mine now, an answered prayer.” (web)

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June 19, 2017

David Miller

HANG FLOAT BURN BURY

a. Things that hang:
– Yarcombe Vancouver
– the gardens of Babylon
– Ithaca on its rocky perch
– the morning star
– at a turn in a stream
– steelhead trout in their surge congregate
– like blackberries in the wet heat of July
– cheesecloth sweating
– goat milk
– straw and black streaks in my daughter’s hair
– the discourse between
– bow
– arrow
– breath
– glass opening its feathers
– on impact
– wheels on a ruptured axle
– tires from a stainless steel hook
– in a gym ceiling
– resting on air like albatrosses
– her blue-black hair braided down her spine
– rickety but brilliant theater marquees
– blood in the neck
– blood in the eyes, in the tongue
– lips feet hands
– the blue, blue head
– the skin empty of soul

b. Things that float:
– Whatever has been drowned
– light and dust in an empty room
– bread, apples, cider, gravy
– my daughter’s arms and legs on the pool’s bright skin
– uncertain winds and currents
– the smell of brake fluid and burnt steel
– smelting tin
– our trust in God
– the bottle with the MS, half-blurred by salt
– a creeping riot of
– swimmers in a river’s current
– hair around dieffenbachia
– the bellies of middle-aged men in summer lakes
– gossip and its inconsistencies
– the weight and the chain
– the song of the sirens
– alligators with their double-skinned eyes
– conversations in dreams
– feathering atop the dusty air
– suicides and weather balloons
– public opinion and crises
– churches, lead, ducks, mothers
– whatever refuses to stay drowned

c. Things that burn:
– Hot Cheetos
– the sealant around a car gasket
– a bullet wound
– the tips of braids while bored in geometry
– the hills outside La Canada
– water when my brother boils it
– Pan Am Flight 102,
– over the brick-and-shingle houses of Lockerbie
– smoke in the green Georgia night
– boiling up from burning tires
– the ash that drowned Pompeii and Herculaneum
– the steel joists of the World Trade Center (at varying rates)
– the morning sky over Sodom and Gomorrah
– Dido
– the synagogues on the edge of Sobibor
– desecrated crosses
– cattle-brands
– my daughter’s bones
– my Soul

d. Things that are buried:
– the Soul
– applause, the sustain of a violoncello, adoration
– the music of Ma Rainey and Sleepy John Estes
– the fire in my daughter’s high
– cheekbones, so high, so crisp
– the catechism in her smile
– my first dog, in the sleeping bag he tore apart
– gray paths through broad hills and
– the straw-and-black limbs of trees
– frozen earth and bottles of Yuengling
– broken cement, splinters of smelt
– loopholes
– the cyanotic waters of the Monongahela
– under feathers of ice
– my daughter’s laughter as she hung onto Pokemon Go!
– my daughter’s eyes when fear or exhaustion burned them
– my daughter’s songs firing up dark January mornings
– strange fruit of American rhetoric
– rag torn from Justice’s eyes
– the Hanging Gardens of Babylon
– compassion

from Rattle #55, Spring 2017

__________

David Miller: “Another year of teaching Latin, another year I will have to tell my students how to behave among white people at Latin conventions, at the Getty, at plays. It is always difficult to do. I do not know whether I make a difference by doing that. It is like the advice we give our own children to help them survive the world. This poem is a reflection of that uncertainty, of the pain of loss and the ambivalence of time.” (twitter)

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April 22, 2017

Alex Greenberg (age 15)

SLIGHT OF HAND

This is a landscape to be sketched & left uncolored.

A boy stands at the crossroads of a ruined city, waving a bell without a whistle.

Consider the tumbleweed of his hair, consider the muscles in his neck,

white gossamer, tenuous like the brambles bearing the black walnuts of summer.

Every rock is a headstone waiting to be named:

Here lies the body of a newborn who saw only light in his life.

A procession of townspeople tour their city as if for the first time

peering into the cross-sections of houses where a shower head spews

brown hibiscus over the bathroom tiles, where a boy’s bed has unmade itself

& the bats locked in his sister’s diary have escaped & lodged their way

into the empty light sockets of her closet. A mother spools the husks of a broken crib

into the dress her daughters will wear when they drape the flag

back over the city gate & sing the anthem of their bodies.

This is all bound to happen again:

the singularity gave us the bedrock for the bomb.

from 2017 Rattle Young Poets Anthology

__________

Why do you like to write poetry?

Alex Greenberg: “Poetry lets me breathe when I feel stifled and serves as a vital outlet of expression for me. In poetry, there is a real sense of discovery that shocks me each time I sit down with a piece of paper and pen.”

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January 25, 2017

Leila Chatti

MY MOTHER MAKES A RELIGION

to replace the old gods. Scripture
gleaned from the backs
of magazines, stars—she follows
horoscopes like commandments,
tells me Leila, you’ll be lucky
in love this month, but watch out
for the eyes of strangers, whatever that means,
a cigarette waved like a censer
through the air, calligraphy of smoke.
My mother rubs oil for wishes
on her wrists in the dark
aisles of the wiccan shop she loves
so much (except for the tarot cards and candles
shaped like dicks, she has limits), and won’t pass
any open water without first sinking
in a coin. She insists on fortune
cookies, but only believes
the ones she likes. My mother stays wary
of magic, forbade me late night
Ouija conversations, but once
paid thirty dollars for a psychic
to summon her sister, then cried.
A child, I heard the trinity wrong—
thought God was a ghost, her faith
a haunting. But now I know God is just
like any man: shifty and often late.
God’s like a bad dog that doesn’t come
when He’s called, and my mother waits
for no one. Summers, her holy
months, she lies by the pool
and anoints her own good self
with her own good sweat. Her wet palms
turn tabloids to birds, the pages ruffled,
as she tilts her face, defiant, towards an empty sky.
In these moments, I’ll believe anything
she tells me, still and radiant
as a painting of a saint, halos
in her sunglasses and the future
sleek and spread in her hands—
my mother, Seer of the week ahead,
my mother the miracle that will save herself.

from Rattle #54, Winter 2016

__________

Leila Chatti: “I am fascinated by faith, and I write a lot about it. Someone recently pointed out to me that I’ve written about my father and I’ve shared religion (Islam), but nothing about my mother’s Catholicism, her somewhat lapsed relationship with God. I don’t mean to say that my mother no longer believes in God, only that she is disappointed by Him. In His absence, my mother has found comfort in other rituals, ones that have become precious—sacred, even—in our family. I wanted to write a poem that celebrated that.” (web)

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