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      October 14, 2016Rare Book and ReaderNed Balbo

      Helen D. Lockwood Library,
      Vassar College, September 1977

      Back in the days when we called freshmen freshmen,
      I was one, a lank-haired Vassar co-ed
      newly landed, searching for the reason
      I was there. Before me, dead ahead,
      the future held its promise like the shaded
      vistas in brochures, or like an album
      on the rack the moment you’ve decided
      that you have to buy it, take it home—
       
      and so I felt (caught in that no man’s land
      of post-arrival limbo, nothing sure
      except how much I didn’t understand
      of privilege, wealth, and class), this much was clear:
      the album’s title—Past, Present, and Future
      and the cloak of Marvel’s Doctor Strange
      vanishing through some portal on the cover
      promised an escape—at least a change.
       
      The last track was inspired by Nostradamus,
      Gallic seer and astrologer
      who wrote The Prophecies, mysterious
      quatrains of cryptic riddles that declare
      foreknowledge of disaster, plague, and war,
      offering hints that tease and tantalize
      (through allegory, tangled metaphor)
      the gullible who read with opened eyes—
       
      Hister (Hitler?), three brothers (Kennedys?)
      world wars (all three?)—well, sure, he could be wrong,
      but if Al Stewart thought the prophecies
      troubling enough to put them in a song,
      what else would time confirm before too long?
      I sat, the huge book open to a page
      five hundred years old, in a foreign tongue
      (French mostly), brought out carefully from storage
       
      by a young librarian, or senior,
      watchful and amused at my expense.
      Who wouldn’t be? She knew I was no scholar
      steeped in sixteenth-century charlatans,
      but just some boy who’d wandered in by chance
      or impulse, new to college, drifting still,
      his mind enraptured by coincidence
      proclaimed as proof, each generation’s will
       
      to buy such bunk, as always, bottomless.
      Now I’d beheld an ur-text, reassured
      it did exist. A reader under glass,
      I sat, sealed in the hush, but not one word—
      archaic, clue-encoded—struck a chord:
      I’d never studied French! And yet I’d seen
      the priceless artifact kept under guard
      in some dark vault climate-controlled within
       
      the labyrinthine archives I envisioned;
      briefly exposed to light and then returned
      to deep oblivion, the world’s end
      unknown and waiting. What else had I learned?
      That where the distant future is concerned,
      no language equal to it can exist
      nor is there language clear and unadorned
      to show how time recedes into the past
       
      —or if there is, it’s written not for us
      but for the eyes of one whose practiced gaze
      sees farther than our own—who knows that loss
      becomes the weight and measure of our days—
      who, in the hidden turnings of a phrase,
      detects a revelation cast in code
      we almost grasp but which remains, always,
      unbroken, like the mercy that we’re owed.

      Ned Balbo

      “In 2014, I was dismissed from my position as an adjunct associate professor after 24 years at a mid-Atlantic Jesuit university. Administrative turnover and the Great Recession had led to policy changes that prohibited contract renewals for full-time adjuncts in my category, and I was only one of many who lost a place during this period. AAUP (the American Association of University Professors) intervened on my behalf, to no avail; so did many tenured colleagues who found their voices ignored when they spoke out to defend the full-time adjunct colleagues whom they valued. In the end, their efforts succeeded in reversing university policy, but not before most of the full-time adjuncts affected had already been dismissed. (In the two years since, a few have been rehired at reduced status.)”