June 27, 2023

Allan Johnston

GOATS

Near Northport, Washington

A goat full of Camel cigarette butts
is a wormed goat, people said. They carried
stumped out cigarettes in their pockets
and fed them to goats like kids giving sugar
to horses. The goats would eat them the way
they seemed to eat anything they could love,
which was everything. But Camel butts
weren’t their only door to the human;

dinner slops mixed with ash tray fillings,
marijuana roaches, burnt hash-pipe foil,
everybody’s chewing gum: anything’s food
to a goat. And in other ways

they could cross that fickle line
we claimed as a boundary.
Unsuspecting foils of jealousy
learned a lot, or at least earned a limp,
from butting horns that showed who had
the cajones this side of the wire. One day
we took the trash to the Northport dump.
Two things were open, or opened; the gate
to the goat pen, and the door to the house.
When we came back the goats were lying
on the sofa they were eating;
the towels were gone; one was mounting the stove
while another nudged cupboard doors
for the cereal. Tiny goat turds
lay on the carpet like counters in some
unfinished game you could only play

if you saw through those weird, rectangular
coffin-lid pupils in the eyes of a goat
gone over into our world. We got them
out of the house, established some sense

of order, or at least what we thought
was hierarchy. Outside, the goats
nuzzled each other, gently opening
doorways to another life.

from Rattle #29, Summer 2008

__________

Allan Johnston: “‘Goats’ is part of a series of poems about my experiences living in northern Washington State in the mid-1970s—in the heart of the ‘back to the land’ phase of the hippie movement. Though there is some elaboration and mixing of experiences, the goats actually did get in the house and wreak their own sort of havoc.” (web)

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September 13, 2012

Allan Johnston

WAITRESS

She has spent all these years getting mad at the main course,
dancing her fear in and out through the door–

the sad chocolate cream pies, the plates of french fries,
quickly side-arming as she twists down in front

of the guy whose cigarette floats in his leftover
coffee: the thing she’s dying for;

her own escape, break: the alcove between
the kitchen and the room where heads plunge toward food

lifted up on old forks–cigarettes, gin,
the nightly valium bearing her off to sleep:

away from the daily bread she gives up
out of boredom or pain: Disney white cap

and apron over the orangish, muddy
dress, earth-brown like a deep muck one finds

in rich scoops of back-washed swamps
where dead fill gathers and sinks, heats, compacts
into rich soil:
                  the dress, these careworn
hands, nails hot scarlet over

the chipped and bitten reality
and the nicotine stains: the lipsticked swishes

of lack of considering anything
like you human or worth the time
but only a passing check, a quick buck–

        if there were some way of making it,
        she would not be here, not leaving
        butts afloat in the styrofoam take-out
        coffee-cup ashtray she takes outside

when it’s too much. She needs to be free
the time it takes to suck up the blue

and poisonous cigarette smoke under
the neon lights that erase the stars.

from Rattle #24, Winter 2005

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