Shopping Cart
    items

      November 9, 2020The HunterJackleen Holton

      Every week there was a new defensive tactic
      added to the handbook, and we catalogued
      and passed them around like recipes
       
      while Manager Dave waited in the back of the house
      by the walk-in refrigerator. Everybody’s ass
      got groped or grazed. In those days we called it
       
      an occupational hazard. But the tips were better
      than anywhere else this side of stripping
      so no one wanted to leave if they could help it
       
      unless they left for good, for Hollywood
      or Happiness. Cover me, we’d say
      when we had to go into the pantry or the freezer.
       
      We pulled the new girls aside,
      gave them the lowdown. We went out
      to smoke in pairs, even if we didn’t smoke.
       
      On the back dock on one such night, Orion
      loomed above, larger than I’d ever seen it, every stud
      in the hunter’s belt ablaze. The other waitress,
       
      I forget her name, talked and blew smoke
      rings into the sky as I beheld the tapestry,
      each bright stitch, and everything else fell away:
       
      my day-to-day despair, Manager Dave, the heavy door
      he tried to trap me behind. For a moment I sensed
      a world beyond that one: the desert city, its merciless
       
      string of waitressing jobs, the not-quite-men it offered up
      like crushed beer cans, F-150 trucks and dirty jokes
      washed up on a shore the moon had long abandoned.
       
      I tell you this because that night I knew
      a peace I’ve forgotten too many times, though it laps
      at my ankles tonight like this cold tide
       
      that seems to cast us backward as it recedes.
      And I wonder how the stars so long ago, blinking
      out their ancient code, could have known
       
      to deliver me to this shore, this quiet night, and to you,
      our feet sand-blackened, a latticework of clouds,
      the bright hunter’s moon moving through.

      from #69 - Fall 2020

      Jackleen Holton

      “I put myself through college waiting tables, and have fallen back into it a few times when I was feeling less than enthusiastic about my career options. I was good at it, but not as good at managing the stress I caused myself in doing it. What I didn’t realize, at least in the early days, is the spiritual value of service, of discarding one’s self-importance for a time to give to others. I’ve since discovered that all work is service work.”