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      April 28, 2019The MothersSharanya Manivannan

      A mother wearing glass beads looking for
      another handkerchief, the melted candy
      in the one she is carrying as sticky as
      the nose being wiped on her arm, under
      church fans too slow for this April heat.
       
      A mother whose only existing photograph of him
      was borrowed permanently by someone who
      told her they could be trusted with her story,
      praying to the saint who restores what has
      been lost, on her knees again
      —again, as many times as it will take.
       
      A mother whose own countenance howls
      in frames the whole world scrolls past,
      captured by someone who did not care to
      learn her name or the names of her dead.
       
      A mother who is Amma, her other name forgotten—
      the word a scream in the room at the morgue where
      bodies beloveds are identified by wedding rings
      and blood-splashed shoes on a projection screen.
       
      A mother who wishes they could have gone for a swim
      first, but they are so hungry she has to stand between
      them in the buffet line so they don’t break into a fight.
       
      A mother with a baby keeping time
      inside her body, a mother with a bomb.
       
      A mother in the kitchen measuring the sugar
      generously, preparing this Easter’s feast,
      waiting for the little ones who must just now
      be saying grace in a circle at Sunday school,
       
      waiting for the little ones
      to come home.

      from Poets Respond

      Sharanya Manivannan

      “My family is among the Tamil diaspora who left Sri Lanka in the ’80s and ’90s. Just a fortnight ago, I was moving around freely in Colombo and Batticaloa, believing the years in which we could not were truly over. Ten years have passed since the civil war had officially ended. But the Easter Sunday bombings, which have killed 359 people at the time of this writing, have changed everything. The Zion Church in Batticaloa lost many children who were attending a Sunday school class; iconic churches and 5-star hotels full of families were also attacked in Colombo and Negombo. To me, one of the most striking and unfathomable details of these events is that, when authorities arrived at the home of one of the suicide bombers, his pregnant wife blew herself and her other children up. Sri Lanka also has an existing movement of the Mothers of the Disappeared, comprised of women demanding to know what happened to their children who were abducted over the years of the conflict. These three elements came together for me, as a way to begin parsing my own pain, in this poem.”