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      October 27, 2019They Mustache Him Some QuestionsSteve Henn

      “Impeachment investigators are in talks with a lawyer for John Bolton about bringing the mustachioed former national security adviser in for a closed-door deposition …”
      —New York Times Impeachment Briefing

      … the hairy-lipped former Bush White House insider
      is expected to be candid in his smudge-faced, hoary-mouthed
      assessment of the Trump White House. He of the hirsute
      nose-ledge battled with Trump on several issues, not the least
      among them the policy on North Korea, with their
      sickeningly clean-shaven and weak-shouldered dictator, and also on
      Iraq, who for years we could rely on to broadcast the sweet,
      sexy ’stache of Saddam “the human Rom Com” Hussein.
      The follicle-face-feathered family man is a favorite
      of conservatives—when he bites the corn dog
      of Trump’s mishandled Ukraine situation don’t expect
      one dollop of ketchup to be saved for later to savor
      in the flavor-saver above his upper lip. Bolton
      has appeared on Fox News, gaining him traction with
      conservatives, who turn to his bountiful ’stache, his
      regal, manly ’stache, whenever the cleanshaven face
      of our own Baby Hitler disappoints them. In other news
      our Tinfoil Hat Commander in Chief claims he’s comparable
      to Lincoln, as if donning a tophat and calling oneself honest
      is just as mustacherrific as saving the union, and freeing the enslaved.

      from Poets Respond

      Steve Henn

      “When I saw in the daily emailed update from the New York Times that the writer took pains to refer to John Bolton as ‘mustachioed,’ I couldn’t help but imagine the scribe behind the story had some strange and silly fixation on facial hair. I used to write in a satiric mode a lot, and don’t nearly as often now, but I do like the idea of taking the wind out of the sails of self-aggrandizing heads of state with well-placed ridicule. A second story, earlier this week, noted what’s mentioned at the end of the poem—that our President is fond of telling everyone within earshot how much he reminds himself of Abraham Lincoln—even his poll numbers, he says, are better.”

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