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      March 6, 2022When War Makes a ChildTatiana Dolgushina

      when Americans think about war, they think about men with guns, and soldiers in uniforms

      when I think about war, I think about packing suitcases

      I think about food shortages, I think about the economic collapse

      I think about my grandmother, the one we had to leave behind

      the one whose mother moved her from town to town, until they didn’t see a war anymore

      the one who was left an orphan, in the middle of Siberia, with her 13-year-old sister to take care of her

      when I think about war, I think about the cold walls of apartment buildings, I think about no heat in the house, I think about hotel rooms

      I think about having to learn a new language in order to survive

      when I think about war, I think about being a child, and standing on the coast of an ocean

      where the wind blows just enough to make one paranoid, just enough to feel like war is right around the corner, right around and behind you, touching you

      from Poets Respond

      Tatiana Dolgushina

      “Russia and Ukraine are both my homeland, and I am a child refugee of the Soviet Union collapse of the ’90s. I was born in Russia and grew up in both countries before having to leave due to increasing violence and after my father was kidnapped in Ukraine. My poems deal with forever losing one’s home, the violent effect of war on a child, and the confusion and the loss that a child experiences before they can understand any of it. The western world has little understanding of witnessing war on their doorsteps, especially when young and vulnerable. The current Russia-Ukraine war has brought up many memories and emotions for me, recreating my childhood experiences all over again. I fear for the children and their families who are undergoing the same trauma that I experienced, which will displace and haunt them for the rest of their lives.”

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