October 26, 2015Advice to a New Postdoc
From Bozeman airport they’ll take you
to the spill site, the one in your thesis. Expect
a long ride. The road turns to dirt;
the van will stop where a closed gate
blocks the road. The latch is one of those
that cowboys have cobbled together
with ever-increasing complexity since 1873
when barbed wire was invented:
an ungodly arrangement of levers, slots,
sliding bars, wire loops, and holes carved
in the wooden post. Jim and Al in back
will be busy wiring data-loggers.
They’ll glance at the gate, then at you.
Hop out. Walk slowly
while you note the hinges and the slope
of the ground. See if the gate swings only
one way and what the way is. Look
for the bar-in-slot or peg-in-loop or
hook-in-eye, or whatever
actually holds the gate closed. Find
what has to move first. Don’t fiddle, figure it out.
Pause if you need to. Remember prelims?
Prof asks a question, it’s OK to think a minute
before you answer, even get extra points
for the right look on your face. When
you’re sure or pretty sure, slide the bar,
pull the peg, lift the rod, turn the knob, whatever
it takes until the gate swings free. Stand by
as he drives through. Don’t smile. Nod
briefly, if you want. Close it, latch it.
Climb back in. Say nothing. Don’t smile.
from #49 - Fall 2015