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      July 10, 2019Counting to Twelve at Willamette ParkLinnea Nelson

      first what i notice
      is predictable
      the water
       
      second the wild
      blackberries third
      that they are ripe
       
      fourth the hairs
      on the backs
      of my legs
       
      fifth that i am still
      clueless about how
      to meditate well
       
      sixth if i take
      a picture of this
      sunrise what i will remember
       
      will be taking
      the picture and not
      how it was here
       
      but if i don’t
      then what will i have
      to show for this seventh
       
      i think i
      am beginning
      to meditate
       
      maybe eighth love
      is moving toward
      the beloved
       
      not waiting
      to be moved
      toward ninth
       
      i am either ready
      to begin for real
      or for ten
       
      i heard loving someone
      with the same
      problems
       
      as you is statistically eleven
      times more fatal to love
      than loving alone
       
      every year i have known
      you we have counted
      to twelve
       
      in AA they told us
      take what is useful
      & leave the rest
       
      but what of what
      i brought
      the wanting to
       
      sit on this sunscorched
      patch of grass
      left to myself
       
      before the tai chi group
      & stroller-runners arrive
      & understand
       
      that it is you i have
      been mourning over again
      can i leave that too
       

      from #63 - Spring 2019

      Linnea Nelson

      “I came to love poetry very early in life, having parents whose love of the written word provided a constant source of imaginative play in our household. I won a blue ribbon at the North Dakota State Fair for a pretty awful poem at the age of eight, and never looked back. These days, poetry is one mode of transport I take on the long way through my unknowing.”