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      November 11, 2016Performance Without NotesJeff McRae

      We were abused by being
      made to abuse one another:
      who could stand longest
      kicked in the crotch? Roll
      in that dog shit. Which
      arrow can you catch in
      your teeth? Divide four
      days of garbage by seven
      fifth graders with Nantucket
      baskets. We lost every time.
      Bees snuggled in our soda.
      Firecrackers did not dislodge
      the beetle from the jellyroll
      but after that there was no
      telling jelly from jellied beetle.
      We were not apprised
      of the consequences of our rage
      so that later when we went
      under the stars and figured
      probably god was bullshit
      we couldn’t stop from bashing in
      the first old man we saw.
      A whole high school of girls
      walked by in yoga pants.
      A brief heaven. Then
      a weeping toothless man
      with one leg on crutches.
      A sad heck. A question
      of morality: we figured
      he must have survived war,
      not raped children. We ran,
      we caught him just in time!
      When the girls helped lift him
      my fingers touched
      the marvelous literature
      of wrists and I could not escape
      the feeling I had been inserted
      into the heavy days
      of childhood, soaking up
      a carnage I was expected
      to later turn into exercises.

      from #53 - Fall 2016

      Jeff McRae

      “I’ve been an adjunct for thirteen years. Being an adjunct gives me the flexibility to write and provides the uncertainty to make it feel necessary.”