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      January 14, 2025Poem in Which I Press Fast ForwardDenise Duhamel

      my young mother becomes my dead mother
      my new car becomes a clunker
       
      my blond hair becomes gray,
      my favorite sweater, a rag
       
      my beloved becomes my enemy
      my enemy, someone I can’t remember
       
      my past becomes a murky place except for a few sharp excerpts
      my memory, a torn plastic bag, groceries spilling onto the pavement
       
      my love of apples becomes a metaphor
      my love of apples becomes my love of applesauce
       
      my flat chest becomes a set of breasts that later flop
      my bright pink scar becomes a faded white line
       
      my childhood friend becomes a stranger, then a corpse
      my childhood home becomes someone else’s home
       
      my baby fat becomes adult fat
      my new sneakers, worn and ready for Goodwill
       
      my obsessions become ash
      my fire, a cold sandwich
       
      my scribbles becomes more scribbles
      my wedding dress, a punchline
       
      my glass of wine becomes my rewind
      my beer stein, a pencil cup
       
      my garbage becomes landfill
      your trees, my kitchen table
       
      my biggest problems dissolve
      then bubble up years later like Alka-Seltzer
       
      my belly laugh becomes a bellyache
      my aversion to conflict becomes a migraine
       
      my frown becomes a ray of frown lines
      my dance moves becomes a skeleton rolled into an anatomy classroom
       
      my childhood love of the sea becomes my adult political quest
      my pet peeves soften into petty concerns then become peace lilies
       
      my fall from grace becomes my saving
      my savings become my coffin’s down payment
       

      from In Which

      Denise Duhamel

      “I started writing the poems from In Which after reading Emily Carr’s brilliant essay ‘Another World Is Not Only Possible, She Is on Her Way on a Quiet Day I Can Hear Her Breathing.’ (American Poetry Review, Volume 51, No. 3, May/June 2022) Carr borrows her title from Arundhati Roy, political activist and novelist. In her delightfully unconventional essay, Carr talks about rekindling intuition in poems, offering ‘a welcome antidote to whatever personal hell you, too, are in.’ Carr’s invitation to be unapologetic, even impolite, gave me new ways of entering my narratives. Soon I was imagining I was someone else completely. Or sometimes I looked back at my earlier self, at someone I no longer recognized.”